I've only rarely needed to discipline Kidlet in public. If he's screechy, it's usually because he's hungry/tired and simply incapable of being good any more, so discipline under these circumstances doesn't help and moreover, doesn't work. But if we're out and about during his "golden hours" then he's a perfect little boy, who stays close to me and walks on the sidewalk, waving to strangers who remark upon how cute he is.
I don't really have any tricks up my sleeve for raising a well-behaved kidlet, other than "pray that your genes mix well and you've got a calm and quiet baby". He's good because we expect him to be good, we expect him to be good because he is. It's a positive-reinforcement circle that works in everybody's favor, and I'm under no delusions of having mad parenting skillz, beyond having the patience to systematically try things out and see what works.
And one of the things I've found to work surprisingly well: I dare to walk away.
If Kidlet is playing with a toy in the store, I'll let him, provided that he's not breaking anything. If he wants to have it, the looks are usually enough to tell me so. But as we're usually broke, I tell him, "No, we're not going to buy that. Put it back." And, after a minute or two, if it's clear that he really wants it, then I start walking away.
He may not set it back right away. But I've never had him run after me with a stuffed animal (or packet of tortillas, or a handful of string beans) yet. Walking away gives him the opportunity to end his interaction with the thing, whatever it is, on his own terms, rather than having me end them. He knows what I mean when I say, "No" and "Put it back". He knows what he's supposed to do. He knows that if he doesn't there will be consequences. So I let him exercise his own judgment in these matters.
They say that kids his age don't think logically, and that may be true. It is equally probable that he sees me walking away and freaks out (though as I've said, I allow him to wander quite far if I am watching him). I like to think that he understands my walking away as a sign that there will be no discussion on this matter, but only time and a psychologist will tell.
I don't really have any tricks up my sleeve for raising a well-behaved kidlet, other than "pray that your genes mix well and you've got a calm and quiet baby". He's good because we expect him to be good, we expect him to be good because he is. It's a positive-reinforcement circle that works in everybody's favor, and I'm under no delusions of having mad parenting skillz, beyond having the patience to systematically try things out and see what works.
And one of the things I've found to work surprisingly well: I dare to walk away.
If Kidlet is playing with a toy in the store, I'll let him, provided that he's not breaking anything. If he wants to have it, the looks are usually enough to tell me so. But as we're usually broke, I tell him, "No, we're not going to buy that. Put it back." And, after a minute or two, if it's clear that he really wants it, then I start walking away.
He may not set it back right away. But I've never had him run after me with a stuffed animal (or packet of tortillas, or a handful of string beans) yet. Walking away gives him the opportunity to end his interaction with the thing, whatever it is, on his own terms, rather than having me end them. He knows what I mean when I say, "No" and "Put it back". He knows what he's supposed to do. He knows that if he doesn't there will be consequences. So I let him exercise his own judgment in these matters.
They say that kids his age don't think logically, and that may be true. It is equally probable that he sees me walking away and freaks out (though as I've said, I allow him to wander quite far if I am watching him). I like to think that he understands my walking away as a sign that there will be no discussion on this matter, but only time and a psychologist will tell.
This made an interesting read
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